I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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