he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
