We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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