hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
