i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
