lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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