I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
