Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
