There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
