can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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