If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you didnt know i had herpes?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
