yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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