dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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