ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
