Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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