Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
