It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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