Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
