Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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