You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
this will be a night to untag.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
