I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
