dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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