My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
