I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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