Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
