so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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