i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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