did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
