Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
