I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
