there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
