he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have already put on my inside pants.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
