I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
