I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
