Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
