You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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