oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
