are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
