She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
