Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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