So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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