I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
