you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
