Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
