I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
