How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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