I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
