the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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