Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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