Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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