You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
